Be a Girl Boss and Own It
Shevonne is a guest blogger for Girl Bosses Australia and this blog first appeared on www.girlbossesaustralia.com on 05/10/2016:
I work with women who are afraid to acknowledge or talk about their own success and this fear can lead to self-sabotage in their business and life. We are talking about capable, talented, wonderful women, complete #girlbosses, who are either not talking about their success at all, are apologising for it or not adequately attributing the right proportion of it to themselves. In some cases, this fear has been so crippling it has prevented women from marketing their business, talking about their strengths or the benefits of working with them. I've also heard instances of women winning awards that they didn't even consider themselves real contenders for.
How many women do you hear on a daily basis saying things along these lines?
1. “I’m so embarrassed, but I won this award.”
2. “I didn’t want to share (this achievement), but my friend told me too.”
3. “I really hate being in front of the camera, but here I am on TV.”
4. “I’m not one to usually talk about my success, but this is a big deal so I had to share.”
5. “This is a bit of self promotion, but…”
6. “Thank you, but really it wasn’t me.”
Ummm… Yes it was you!
Since when did women decide that it was not socially acceptable to authentically share our successes or talk about our strengths with our friends, networks and clients without feeling like we are being insincere? Since the beginning of time, that’s when! I say it’s time for change. I don’t need to define the difference between acknowledging achievements in a healthy way and being straight out boastful. You are all smart women and you know the difference… There’s celebrating success and being a good sport and then there’s the other thing. Don’t be the other thing, but don’t discredit yourself and certainly do not apologise for your achievements. I’m not suggesting sharing every success is obligatory. Sometimes you might just want to acknowledge a success for yourself and that’s totally fine, but please don't be afraid to talk about your achievements.
When it all boils down there are many reasons why women may feel uncomfortable acknowledging or talking about their success, achievements and abilities. One of these reasons could be fear of judgement from others - particularly other women. Are there people out there who will judge you for talking about your successes? Yes. There are people out there who will do exactly that. They have always been around, lurking in the shadows, expelling negative energy and they will continue to do so for the rest of time… Let me assure you that this has everything to do with them and not you. If you keep going along believing that you are not worthy enough of your success, it’s going to limit your potential. You are worthy of your success. People who matter will be happy for you and will celebrate your successes. Those are the people you need to surround yourself with and I’m sure you will reciprocate that support for them too.
So let’s re-write the messages women put out there about themselves and their achievements. Wouldn’t it be nice if the above messages looked more like this?
1. “I’m so proud to win this award tonight. It means so much and thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way.”
2. “I’m really proud of this achievement and I know you’ll all be proud of me as well. Thank you for your support.”
3. “I’m so proud to have been interviewed by (insert here) on (insert channel) about (insert topic). As you know this is important to me for (insert reasons). If you missed my segment on TV this morning, here it is!”
4. “I have had a major win today and I’m so excited to share this with you.”
5. “I’m very proud of this achievement, which has been made possible with the support/hard work of (insert names here).”
6. “Yesterday, I had the absolute career highlight of…”
In summary, the time of #girlbossing and owning it is upon us. Let’s promise ourselves that we will stop unnecessarily apologising and start acknowledging the fruits of our toil. Be proud of yourselves, ladies! You may just inspire someone else to go out and kick ass too.
Shevonne Joyce is the Founder of Yellow Palomino and the Co-Founder of The Business Experiment. She works with womenpreneurs to assist them with achieving in business and life. She also co-hosts a weekly podcast about the real of starting a business for the first time and has listeners in 12 countries. Shevonne can be contacted via firstname.lastname@example.org
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